FROM THE PRESIDENT'S KITCHEN TABLE
Dear Readers,
Lately I’m a little worried that I’m becoming invisible. When I feel my arms and legs they seem solid enough. In fact, when I examine myself in the mirror it’s obvious there’s more of me than there used to be. But troubling signs keep popping up that indicate I am, indeed, disappearing (along with my dear husband). First The Arlington Catholic Herald, which we’ve received without fail since moving to Woodstock, stopped coming. We called and alerted the paper to the problem and still it didn’t arrive. So we tried again and finally a few weeks later it came, but with the wrong name on it. Strange.
Then we got the Bishop’s Lenten Appeal packet. To be more accurate our mailbox got it. For six years it has arrived addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence Kreitzer, but this year the name had disappeared. I fear the numbers will be next, then the street name, town, state, zip code - even, perhaps, the mailbox. Will the house go too? It is an alarming thought!
Others in the diocese have experienced these odd phenomena as well. Chris Manion, a Catholic parent who vigorously protested implementation of the Bad Touch program was to be designated a Knight of Malta. The honor disappeared in a puff of smoke the day before the ceremony. Several orthodox DREs have disappeared to the detriment of the children they taught. Fr. James Haley, who blew the whistle on the homosexual problem in the diocese, vanished seven years ago and has only rarely surfaced since. Other priests have disappeared as well and replacements are sparse.
Occasionally there is a welcome disappearance. Dr. Anthony Tambasco, a heretic scheduled to speak at Good Shepherd in January, was apparently blown away by a non-existent cyclone that hopefully dropped him on a feminist witch somewhere in the Land of Oz (or Georgetown which is about the same thing). If we’re lucky he won’t reappear in the diocese. We are keeping a careful watch on these situations. Our printer assures us he uses permanent ink and there is no possibility of the newsletter disappearing any time soon…but that fails to take into account the post office which has extensive experience at making mail disappear. Stay tuned….